Ever get the feeling that the universe is playing a joke on you? That feeling of being hit by a tire iron upside the head while simultaneously having your guts ripped out by a rabid wolverine? Uncontrollably sobbing while mindlessly clicking on CNN.com for hourly updates? Hmm.Night Ranger hits the Leach Amphitheater stage tomorrow night. Waterfest Wednesday presented by Rhapsodies Gourmet Frozen Custard made another big ticket winner. Enjoy the music and a refreshing treat after the show.Dr. Jeff Junig stopped in with more head-shrinking analysis. Depression in teens: what causes it and what are the warning signs? As always, find Dr. J online to set up a one-on-one session, or visit him in person on Main Street in downtown Fond du Lac.What's new in the wild world of composting? Sara Everson from Compost Joe's joined us to chat recycling, organic soil, oxygenation, and the like. Click here to get started on your composting adventure.Holiday Mazda presents your K107.1 107 Days of Summer, with chances to win superfab tickets and prizes all summer long! Our buddy Pat Friedel from Holiday Mazda played "This-or-That?" and made another lucky winner of tickets to check out the furry fun Milwaukee Co. Zoo.
"There are 360 ways to see an elephant." Gary Busey turns 66 today, an event to be celebrated and feared. Choose your own path here and here. Good luck.A Nick-n-Willy's New Release Tuesday found no new Busey flicks on DVD today, but we did find John Cusack in his Hot Tub Time Machine, When You're Strange: A Film About The Doors narrated by Johnny Depp, and Percy Jackson & The Olympians for the kids. On the musical side, pick up new drops from Scissor Sisters, Indigo Girls, The Jackson 5(!), Kenny G, and the score from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.Urkel Alert! Jaleel White, who played the legendary Urkel on Family Matters, is back with a new series, Fake It 'Til You Make It. Urkel...err, sorry Jaleel produces and stars in this web series that follows a former child star turned image consultant. Catch every episode at Hulu.com.Summer travel tips were the topic with author Chris McGinnis. Whether up in the air or on the road, take matters into your own hands, be prepared, and maximize your fun. Get the facts and more advice online at Chris' website.The upcoming film Love Ranch stars Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren as the couple who opened the first legal brothel in Nevada. Dennis Hof, the real-life owner of The Bunny Ranch joined us with an inside look at the prostitution biz. The movie opens tomorrow, and Dennis invites all of our listeners to visit him on your next trip to Vegas.
As our gal Mary jets back from the World Cup, we welcome Joey T into the mix for a Monday (maybe he can tell us exactly when Mary became such a fan of Denmark).Jamie Pagliaro is executive VP of Rethink Autism and joined us with details on a new web-based autism treatment platform. The state of Wisconsin has recently extended its Medicaid waiver to cover the innovative services provided by Rethink Autism. Parents and families can click here for more info.Summerfest enters Day 5 on Milwaukee's lakefront and we had your latest chance to win tickets. Eric Clapton headlines the fun this evening at the Marcus Amphitheater. Listen to win all this week, thanks to Holiday Mazda and your 107 Days of Summer.
Our chestnuts are halfway roasted, visions of sugarplums are dancing halfway through our heads, our shopping lists are halfway done. 'Tis all because today is June 25, the magical halfway point to Christmas Day (and you called us foolish for still having those lights up on our house).We're also reflecting on the year that has passed since the death of Michael Jackson. What better way to celebrate his musical talent than with a pair of tickets to Summerfest? We just know MJ would love a Leinie's to go with his deep-fried Snickers if only he were still with us...Rebecca Wells brought us The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and she returns with her latest work, The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder. A story of love lost and found against the Louisiana landscape. The book is now in stores.Our Friday wrapped with Tony Meade and a look at today's new movies. Adam Sandler leads a cast of his buddies (oh, and Salma Hayek) in Grown Ups, while Tom Cruise saves Cameron Diaz in Knight and Day (opened Wednesday). Get a full list of area movies and showtimes for the weekend at k107.com.
The World's Largest Music Festival (and yes, it may be the largest in the "world," but wait until you see how they do things at the largest festival in the "universe," coming this fall to Uranus) returns to Milwaukee's lakefront as Summerfest kicks off this afternoon. The suddenly tanorexic Tim McGraw headlines tonight's festivities with special guest Lady Antebellum. Jon & Mary in the Morning have your tickets every day now through July 2.Weekend Buzz for the final weekend of June took us to The Paine for their tremendous Norman Rockwell exhibit, Miller Park for a Brewers homestand, the Ford Festival Grounds for Country USA, and downtown Fond du Lac for the farmer's market. Those highlights and more at the K107.1 Air-Tech Heating Community Calendar.Chief Meteorologist at NBC 6 in Miami, John Morales joined us with tips on being prepared for severe weather. What is the first thing you should do when a storm is on its way? What supplies should you have on hand? Get the facts by logging in here, assuming the storm didn't toss you into a power outage.We wrapped the show in newspaper, talking fish with Brian Carter. The take-out window is open for business every Friday for lunch and dinner at Fond du Lac Seafood. See the menu online and check out Brian's daily fresh specials.
More severe weather hits our area today, with thunderstorm watches and warnings popping up through the morning and into the afternoon. Keep it on K107.1 or click over to k107.com for the latest updates throughout the day (and for those of you camping out at Country USA, best of luck...watch out for that lightning...and those bears).Rhapsodies Gourmet Frozen Custard brought you another Waterfest Wednesday. Check out Wang Chung and Cowboy Mouth at the Leach tomorrow night, then head over to Rhapsodies for a refreshing treat after the show.Stock your pantry and fridge with nutrition this summer. Dr. Susan Mitchell showed us how easy it is with a quick trip to the grocery store. Keep your focus on produce, nuts, and low-fat, high-protein snacks. Get more tips from Susan online.The Treasure Hunters Roadshow returns to Fond du Lac this week. Clean out those closets and get cash for your dusty old "junk". Mr. Treasure Hunter himself, Michael Richter gave us a few ideas of what pays big. Load up and head out to the Holiday Inn daily from 9 to 6 through Friday.
After last night's display, is it fair to say our gal Mother Nature is an AC/DC fan? "You've been... THUNDERSTRUCK!"A Nick-n-Willy's New Release Tuesday gets you set for dinner with some tasty N-n-W's pizza. DVD highlights today include R-Patz in Remember Me, Matt Damon in Green Zone, and Entourage: Season 6. Musically, Eminem's long awaited Recovery is in stores alongside new stuff from Ozzy Osborne, The Roots, Vince Neil, Cyndi Lauper, Miley Cyrus, Macy Gray, and Uncle Kracker.Author and motivational speaker Chuck Martin pumped us up with a look at his new book, Work Your Strengths. Use Chuck's scientific process to identify your skills and match them to the best career for you.Country USA kicks off this afternoon at the Ford Festival Grounds. Our pleasure to make a few more winners and send you off to see the Zac Brown Band headlining the festivities tonight. Click over to k107.com for a full list of performers this week, weather updates, and other local happenings.Contributing editor at Barron's, Suzanne McGee wrapped up the show with a warning that another Wall Street meltdown is closer than we think. Her latest book, Chasing Goldman Sachs, details the rise and fall of our economy and where we go from here.
It's your VERY LAST chance to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off tomorrow at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll make our final winner tomorrow morning, so leave a comment anytime in the next 24 hours. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. Take a little advice from the great Johnny Cash: "Cast off those cocaine blues and walk the line to visit our sponsors Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
Welcoming the first day of summer and the longest day of the year (kind of sad, no?). We celebrate with your chance to win Noah's Ark tickets, part of the 107 Days of Summer fun driven by Holiday Mazda.The Tour of America's Dairyland bike race crisscrosses the state this week, stopping in downtown Fond du Lac this Friday. Click here to get the details and find out how you and the kids can be part of the fun.Another Medium Monday brought K107.1 psychic medium Susan Anderson into our lives. Susan takes your phone calls the first Monday each month. What does your spirit guide have to say? What does the future hold for your finances or love life? Get a personal reading and much more at Susan's online home, Bridging Two Worlds.
It's your FINAL chance this week to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off next week at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll have another post on Monday and make one more winner next week. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. Our handsome pal Conway Twitty says, "Slip into those tight fittin' jeans and visit our sponsors Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
We've arrived at Father's Day Weekend 2010, and as we reflect on the great fathers through history, we also recognize the deadbeats. Those dads that maybe weren't around quite as much as they could/should have been. At Jon & Mary in the Morning we believe it's never too late, deadbeat dad! Just don't wait 'til junior makes it big before you reappear to take credit for all of his or her success. Ain't no one who wants to meet his or her dad only after losing a hand and getting saved from some kooky old man's hand lightning. Not cool.The Juice Lady's Turbo Diet might be just what dad is looking for in his Father's Day stocking. The Juice Lady herself, Cherie Calbom, joined us to talk about the spiritual side of eating healthy and incorporating fresh vegetable juices into your life. Yum!Tony Meade wrapped up our Friday and got us into the weekend with a list of movies dad will love. Opening in theaters today: Toy Story 3 (in 2D and 3D), Jonah Hex, Cyrus, and The Killer Inside Me. See what's playing locally at k107.com.
It's your FOURTH chance this week to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off next week at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll have another post tomorrow and make more winners all week. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. As country legend Ronnie Milsap says: "Even I can see how great it is to have fabulous sponsors like Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
It's your THIRD chance this week to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off next week at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll have another post tomorrow and make more winners all week. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. As our pal Buck Owens says: "Let's give a big Heeee Haw to our sponsors Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
The first picture from the new Smurfs movie has been released, along with a short teaser trailer that will run before Toy Story 3 this weekend. As you can see, our man Papa Smurf has hit the scene in Times Square alongside Grouchy and Clumsy. The excitement level we feel when we see this picture is almost as high as that time we found Snorks swimming around our kiddie pool (right before the dogs ate them, that is).Kelley Country Creamery in Eden has been serving tasty ice cream treats for a few weeks now, and this weekend hosts its BIG Grand Opening. Carol Kelley chatted about the evolution of her family business, flavors, toppings, and all that gooey stuff. Join in the celebration with free samples and family fun this Saturday from noon to 3.NY Times bestselling novelist Dorothea Benton Frank took us back to Tall Pines in South Carolina for the sequel to her bestselling book, Plantation. Pick up the story in Lowcountry Summer. Humorous, poignant, rich with characters...the book is now in stores.Another Waterfest Wednesday got you tickets to see Little River Band tomorrow night at the Leach Amphitheater. Thanks to our sponsors at Rhapsodies Gourmet Frozen Custard, open late for those post-show cravings.Yet another fantastic summer read as author Jane Green joined us to talk about her latest work, Promises to Keep. What happens when one shocking phone call changes your life forever? The answer may suprise you. As an added and unique bonus, find over 30 original recipes mixed into the story.Our friends from Holiday Mazda stopped in for another rousing edition of "This or That?" All part of your 107 Days of Summer fun, driven all summer by Holiday Mazda.
It's your SECOND chance this week to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off next week at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll have another post tomorrow and make more winners all week. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. The lovely Miss Dolly Parton says: "I give a double salute to our sponsors Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
Does anyone else realize we're a scant 5 days away from Father's Day?!? That's only, like, 120 hours to find dad that magical gift he'll tell you he "loves" right before he takes it out to the garage and buries it under a pile of gas-soaked rags.
We found a few gifts for the old man in another Nick-n-Willy's New Release Tuesday. On DVD, pick up Denzel in The Book of Eli, Kristen Bell in When In Rome (dad will love it!), and Family Guy: Volume 8. Musical selections in stores today include new material from Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Devo, Robyn, Steve Miller Band, Sarah McLachlan, and Now That's What I Call Music! 34.
For the dad who enjoys being outside, The Bumper Book of Nature just hit stores. Author and BBC host Stephen Moss took us through his user's guide to the great outdoors. Identify animal tracks, collect samples, dig your own pond! Dad will flip over this knowledge.
Lifestyle expert Eric Villency joined us with tips on finding the "perfect" gift for dad. Among his advice--stick with the basics, update his toolbox, go for the gadgets. For more info, click here or here for Eric's official website.
How about sharpening dad's card sharking skills? Master magician Joshua Jay spilled a few secrets from his new book, Joshua Jay's Amazing Book of Cards. Learn 52 fun tricks through step-by-step instructions, full-color photos, and a DVD that comes with the book.
It's your FIRST chance this week to win a pair of 5-Day passes to Country USA, kicking off next week at the Ford Festival Grounds in Oshkosh! K107.1 Facebook Fans--just leave a COMMENT ON THIS POST and you're qualified to win those tickets for today only! We'll have another post tomorrow and make more winners all week. Not a Facebook fan? Just click "Like" in the Facebook section at k107.com. Boxcar Willie sez: "I doff my grimy cap to our sponsors Attitude Sports and Floor Quest..."
RIP to the great Jimmy Dean, passing away yesterday at the age of 81. Singer, actor, entertainer, sausage tycoon--Jimmy was also instrumental in getting a young Jim Henson and his Muppets onto television and into the mainstream. Please join Bob Evans in pouring a 40 on the curb in honor of Jimmy...We kicked off our Country USA giveaway week, presented by our friends at Attitude Sports and Floor Quest. Every morning this week, K107.1 Facebook Fans will receive a special Country USA post. Just comment on the post and you're in to win a pair of 5-day passes. Not a fan? Click "Like" in the Facebook box at k107.com and you're in!Summerfest returns to Milwaukee's lakefront next week and VP of Entertainment Bob Babich stopped by to give us a look at what's new and the old favorites we'll find at the Big Gig. Listen now through early July for your chance to win tickets, part of the 107 Days of Summer presented by Holiday Mazda.Father's Day fun at The Wade House this weekend as another Base Ball Sunday takes us back to the rules of 1860. Get the details and purchase tickets online.
The 2010 edition of Walleye Weekend has arrived, filling our hearts with joy unimaginable. Jon & Mary in the Morning have once again taken their show on the road to Fond du Lac's Lakeside Park and are broadcasting live from the K107.1/CitizensFirst Credit Union stage. Check out the full musical lineup and all FREE family fun happening today through Sunday at fdlfest.com.[UPDATE: it looks like the rain has driven us back indoors for the morning...so yes, we're wimpy sissies who don't like to get wet...big deal.]Tony Meade joined us back in the dry studio with a look at new movies in theaters this weekend. Let us be the last to say that we pity the fools who fail to see The A-Team, if only for the slight chance that Liam Neeson will utter the phrase, "I love it when a plan comes together." Also hitting screens is The Karate Kid remake starring Jackie Chan and Will Smith's kid. Get a list of area movies and showtimes online at k107.com.
We've arrived at the cusp of another supercal South Valley weekend. Walleye Weekend, Oshkosh Irish Fest, Brewers baseball, and more. Click on k107.com for the Air-Tech Heating Community Calendar and all your Weekend Buzz. And don't forget those 24/7 weather updates for what should be some 'Poe'-fect summer fun!Also happening this weekend is the first annual Grazin' Farm Family Fun Day, taking place at the Meuer Farm this Sunday from 10 to 4. Enjoy hayrides, a maze activity area, face painting, movies, prizes, and of course, farm fresh vittles.And thus concludes the shortest blog entry in the technological history of Jon & Mary in the Morning (light applause).
The K107.1 107 Days of Summer presented by Holiday Mazda officially kicked into high gear this morning with your chance to win Noah's Ark tickets! Where else can you legally wear a 14" gold crucifix and black speedo among frolicking 8-year-olds? The hairy magic continues all summer...NY Times bestselling author Kathleen McGowan joined us with a look at her new novel, The Poet Prince. The latest chapter in Kathleen's popular Magdalene Line series, follow Maureen Paschal as she uncovers evidence of a hidden gospel written by Jesus himself. The mystery and intrigue is now in stores.Another Waterfest Wednesday got you tickets to see the Gin Blossoms tomorrow night at the Leach. Don't forget the tasty fun after the show at Rhapsodies Gourmet Frozen Custard on South Park in Oshkosh.Super-charged sisters Mary Barber and Sara Whiteford stopped in with a healthy and fun way to infuse some energy into the start of your day. Their new book, Super-Charged Smoothies, incorporates all-natural ingredients that will give you a morning boost without the nasty coffee breath.
A reminder that, as summer approaches, please stay downwind from the K107.1 studios, especially between the hours of 6 & 10am. We like to enjoy the balmy temps outside and so we often open the windows and doors, which has the unfortunate effect of poisoning a few of our immediate neighbors. Consider this your friendly warning.Nick-n-Willy's brought us another New Release Tuesday as Leonardo DiCaprio hits the beach in Shutter Island and John Travolta shaves his head in From Paris With Love on DVD. Musically, pick up new drops from Christina Aguilera, Hanson(!?), Saving Abel, Lil' Jon, Jewel, and the Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack.Consultant and master motivator Nick Boothman joined us to talk about his new book, How to Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less. Turn first impressions into profitable, lasting relationships and know your message is getting through using Nick's simple techniques.It's relationship repair in a flash with Dr. Nancy Dreyfus. Nancy shared her expertise on how to get those good feelings flowing again in her book, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. It's one thing to apologize, to listen, to understand, it's another to do these things the right way.K107.1 Numerologist Tania Gabrielle was our final guest, breaking down the numbers as they apply to the BP oil spill, Al & Tipper Gore's marital woes, and the possibility of a Sandra Bullock-Jesse James reconciliation. Tania looks at your numbers as well. Book a private reading and sign up for her FREE newsletter online.
Celebrating the first Monday of June in grand fashion...lots of sunshine, lots of squirrels frolicking on the sidewalk, lots of winning with our 107 Days of Summer, lots of overall June-ness.K107.1 Fitness Guru Lynn Roethke from Club Olympia stopped in to talk calories, specifically calories "in" vs. calories "out." The single most simple secret to losing weight? Make sure the "out" calorie number is higher than the "in" number. Almost too easy, no?Clarky Davis returned to the show with tips on saving energy this summer. Our K107.1 Debt Diva had simple ways to save money just by turning off a few light switches, hand washing a few dishes, or sealing up a few drafty windows. Get more wallet-busting techniques at Clarky's website.Oshkosh Irish Fest comes to the Leach Amphitheater grounds this weekend. Click here for all the green details, and listen all this week for your chance to win tickets!
Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman, and now Rue McClanahan?!? Does that fill our quota for awhile or are we still keeping an eye on Tommy Smothers?The AMA Superbike Doubleheader comes to Road America in Elkhart Lake this weekend. We made winners for the Sunday action, part of a summer full of winning from one of the midwest's premier road courses and your 107 days of summer station!Kevin Miller from the Windhover Center for the Arts stopped in with a full calendar of events for the month of June. Click here for those details and to order tickets.Oprah's organization guru Peter Walsh joined us with advice on how to "de-clutter" for the summer. Peter says it all starts with creating a vision for your home and working from those mental blueprints. Just don't let them get buried under all that brain clutter...We headed into the weekend talking movies and a slew of new releases hitting theaters today. Jonah Hill escorts Russell Brand in Get Him to the Greek, Ashton Kutcher chases Katherine Heigl in Killers, Owen Wilson voices Marmaduke, and Adrian Brody plays crazy doctor in Splice. As always, a full list of movies and area showtimes is online at k107.com.
With the spirit of a still-alive (we think?) Bob Barker nodding in approval, Derby pulled through his neutering operation with flying colors. As you can see in the photo, Jon and his wife have much to be proud of as their little guy poses with his formerly attached friends. Thanks again to Dr. Ann Sosalla and staff at Companion Animal Care for their expertise and kindness.The first weekend of June and a healthy dose of Weekend Buzz to tell us what's big in the area. The new Sherlock Holmes exhibit is now open at the Oshkosh Public Museum, the NFDLPD hosts a bicycle rodeo on Saturday, and the Fond du Lac YMCA hosts an open house and ribbon cutting, among other hightlights. Click here for a full list on the Air-Tech Heating Community Calendar at k107.com.Author and historian Michael Trinklein told us the true stories of what might have been in his new book, Lost States. A third Dakota? Texlahoma? Albania our 51st state? The odd and captivating tales of an alternate U.S. history.The Go-Between: A Novel of the Kennedy Years brings the Mad Men era to life in a fictionalized account of JFK's mistress. Frederick Turner joined us to talk about his book, his sources, and the mixing of fact with fantasy.Brian Carter talked seafood and what's new on the take out menu at Fond du Lac Seafood. Call 517-TUNA to get your weekend orders filled.
We've been talking about it for the last week, and finally the day has arrived for little Derby to say "adios" to his little friends. Jon and his wife would like to extend their thanks to everyone for their best wishes as their dog prepares to get snipped later this morning by Dr. Ann Sosalla and staff at Companion Animal Care. A steady hand is all we ask, Dr. Ann. Check back tomorrow morning for an update on the procedure, and please keep Derby (and his nuts) in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.The first female Iron Chef, Cat Cora, joined us with a look at her new cookbook, Classic with a Twist. Get a fresh take on your favorite dishes with Cat's 3rd cookbook, now in stores.Looking for a morning energy boost? Sisters Mary Barber and Sara Whiteford gave us just the thing with their new book, Smoothies & Super Smoothies. Find dozens of sweet ways to blend some energy into your day without the unnecessary caffeine and sugar.Psychiatric nurse Phyddy Tacchi was our final guest of the morning, chatting about the increasing role of family caregivers. What are the emotional and physical responsibilites of caregivers? Why is it important that we care for the caregivers? Phyddy has authored a booklet, Caregivers: Facing the Challenge Together, that is available with more tips at her blog.Our first Waterfest Wednesday of 2010 caused major excitement as we welcomed our new sponsor, Rhapsodies Gourmet Frozen Custard. Listen for your chance to win Waterfest tickets all summer, and don't forget those tasty frozen treats before and after the show!
A new month, a Tuesday that feels like a Monday, and a BIG birthday salute to Andy Griffith as he celebrates 84 years today. After all the celebrity deathwatch over the weekend, doesn't it feel nice to shift our focus back to the (still) living?A Nick-n-Willy's New Release Tuesday finds Johnny Depp's mad hat in Alice in Wonderland, Benicio Del Toro's five o'clock shadow in The Wolfman, and the complete fifth season of Rescue Me on DVD. Musically, check out the return of Clay Aiken, as well as new drops from Jack Johnson, Molly Hatchet, and The Dixie Chicks.Megan Del Debbio from the Oshkosh Public Museum stopped by to give us a sneak peak at the new Sherlock Holmes exhibit opening tomorrow. Work your way through the puzzle and solve the mystery of the clocktower. Fun for kids and families, the exhibit runs through August 22.K107.1 Debt Diva Clarky Davis returned with energy saving tips for summer. Save energy, save money, save sanity. Get more penny pinching details at Clarky's blog.Our longtime friend Mary Mullen was our final guest of the morning. Mary is getting the word out about the second annual Fond du Lac praise worship festival, God of This City 2010. The fun goes from noon until 10pm this Saturday at Buttermilk Park. For more information, call Scott at 920.904.1943.
Ever get the feeling that the universe is playing a joke on you? That feeling of being hit by a tire iron upside the head while simultaneously having your guts ripped out by a rabid wolverine? Uncontrollably sobbing while mindlessly clicking on CNN.com for hourly updates? Hmm.
